electron man

We were sitting in a nearly empty movie theater, it might as well been the only two people on earth as far as I was concerned. I was stretched out lying across three seats, my head resting peaceful on his lap. I could only see the top half of the screen, but I didn’t really mind. He held me tight, his arm around my waist clutching it through the entire movie. It was during the movie I looked up, and saw the glow of the movie reflected on his face, he never looked so handsome. And it was in that moment that I saw the man he was becoming. I think I knew from that moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I know it sounds cheesy, but that what I really felt. I didn’t know if it was possible; me going to Portland and him MIT. I didn’t even know if we would last the next three months. But I know that we have something special, something that doesn’t happen often. I know I want to fight for us to be together, and in the end I want are upmost happiness. I don’t know if we’re going to make it or not, but I know that I have to at least try, or I will always wonder, if I let go of the one.
After the movies, I told him that I thought about going back into film.
“its whatever you want to do. What will make you happy.”
“I don’t know. I know I want to write, I’m not sure if I can write a screenplay. I know I’ll be happy if I write poetry all my life, but writing shitty poems won’t pay the bills.”
“Don’t think about the money; think about what will make you happy.”
There was a long pause
“I don’t think that I’m as creative as I think. All my stories is what happens to me, sometimes verbatim.”
“All the best stories are taken from life, then expanded and turned into something amazing.”
“But I want to tell a story about the little moments in life, and how those are the most important. Because all life is, is a series of moments.
“All we have in this instant, and the rest are just memories”
When we had reached my apartment, I started to turn off my car and get out. He had already gotten out of the car, while I was still bustling around inside the car, making sure I had all my thing together.
“Hey you left your wind rolled down.” He said putting his head through the gap of where my window should be. I’m putting my head through the dimension. I’m breaking the boundaries of time and space. I’m in two places at once.”
I laughed at him “well you better get your head out of my dimension so I can roll my window up. I don’t want to squish your head.”
I turned my car back on and rolled up the passenger side window, as I got out he was looking up at the sky.
“ You know I’m techenically in like nine places right now: inside my underwear, inside my pants…”
“Outside my apartment…”
“yeah” he chuckled
“your like an electron.” I chuckled back
“I am like an electron he said with amazement. “I’m everywhere, yet I’m just right here…with you.”

The Children of the Night

We are the children of the night
Content in the dark, the streets are our playgrounds
We have a diet of thick black coffee and cigarette
We smoke the finest swag
We sit in diners and discuss reason for being
We are the children of the night
We live and flow to the energy of the city
We weave in between the lines of the interstate
time and space are relative to our heartbeat
We have no concept of good and evil
of past and future
We only know the present
We don't know how to live
We just live
and love
and lose
We breathe in
and out
We do

Sleeping with you

Asleep in your bed,
safe and warm,
Our legs intertwined like grapevines.
Your arm around my waist so tight,
I can't move.
I can feel your breath on the nape of my neck
I can hear you heartbeat against my back
Combined they make the perfect rhythm
that lulls me to sleep

Awake in my bed,
alone and cold.
Tangled in my sheets and blanket,
struggling for warmth
I hear the tick of the clock echoing through the apartment
I can't stop the thoughts racing through my head
I feel the shiver crawl up my spine
All a haunting reminder
that its getting harder and harder to sleep without you.

temporary tattoos

He knows better than to buy me diamond rings, instead he get me temporary tattoos. We never go to fancy restaurants because mac and cheese pizza at Cici's will do. And when I fall asleep reading, he takes the glasses from my face, takes my book and marks my place, and sets them both by the nightstand. he saves me from my nightmares and hold me until I can sleep again. He wipes every tear from my eye. He think my blemishes and scars are beautiful,even the ones that run deep. He is far from perfect, but his shortcoming make me love him even more. He has broken my heart, and on more then one occasion he has made me cry. But he giving me back my emotions; shown me a heart still beats inside. What else can I say, I guess I'm just a sucker for that stutter and those big green eyes.

Infinite

Together we drove past highway 46, on to back roads where we got completely lost. We stopped when the only lights we could see were the stars above. Together we sat on the hood of my car. The steamy summer air and the heat from the engine made me start to sweat. We sat there for what seamed like an eternity. Under the glistening sky we talked, we laughed, I was happy. I felt completely infinite. Then I remembered the last time i felt this way about a boy. All the horrible memories and feelings came rushing back. He leaned in to kiss me but I backed way. The look on his face had disappointment and slight confusion on it. The abyss of the sky was reflected in the pit of my stomach. Was it worth going through the same pain but with a different person? Was the happiness worth the pain? You want this, the voice inside my head shouted, you need this. You only live once. Live. I leaned over and kissed him. My stomach turned. My heart fluttered. All the fear and yearning was like two massive galaxies colliding. From that supernova came a feeling so massive, yet indescribable. In his eyes, I saw all the same explosion reflected. I know this is different. I know I am safe.

all for him

I've opened up
I've gave of myself
I've become more vulnerable
and all for him
I've succeed
I've failed
I've tried to change
and all for him
I've lived
I've laughed
I've loved
I'm alive
not just surviving
all because of him

Another Day in the Life of a Military Brat

Another day in the Life of a Military Brat.
I was three.
A strange man came to the door.
“Can I talk to your mommy?”
His voice was kind.
His face was solemn.
My mother collapsed in the doorway,
Grief stricken,
Sobbing.
My father had died for his country.
Three days later the man was back.
There had been a miscommunication.
My mother stood firm in the doorway,
Screaming,
Cursing.
My father came back to life.
Another day in the life of a military brat…

I was five.
My mother was sick.
My brother and I clang to her bed side.
“No, Mama!”
“Help, Mama!”
“Don’t let the man take us, Mama!”
We thought a stranger was trying to kidnap us,
My Father just wanted to take us to daycare.
Another day in the life of a military brat…

Five Home in Seven years.
Countless birthdays missed.
Left in the dark
Calls at midnight
“I don’t know what’s in the news, but I’m okay”
Then nothing
A dead line.
Another day in the life of a military brat

Watch what you say
Watch what you do
You can’t associate with “radicals”
It’s a threat to national security.
Opt-sec it priority number one
Family is about three down.
Another day in the life of a military brat

I was nine.
My father called us.
He was far away.
“Dad, are you going to be home for Thanksgiving?”
“I don’t know, pumpkin.”
“Dad, where are you?”
My mom gives me a look of disbelief
I hear a faint clicking in the line.
“I could tell you but then I have to kill you”
My father chuckles
I know he’s joking
But I know he’s not.
Another day in the life of a military brat.